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Depression, feeling deep down and alone, how terrible this feels!

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Good day, wish you well and welcome to iamyourcoach. Depression, let’s put our focus on this today on a Sunday (rainy and cloudy). In our probably to busy lives or not busy at all lives, we experience stress on a regular basis. And in these times, we experience stress even more. And the funny part is, there is actually less to be stressed about. Now you will say how so? I am busy all day, work, my kids, friends & family and sports and more….. busy busy busy… Others will recognize themselves more in, oh how boring it is, nothing to do, no obligations and for some reason can not get myself motivated to do something…

And although we do not always realize this, both the situations bring about stress and if to much or to long (depends per person what to much might be, no one is the same) can lead to depression. The seeds for those are mostly laid in our childhoods and related obligations, peer pressure, wanting to be loved by our parents and so on (when you want contact us at contact@iamyourcoach.nl for a lecture on the subject or to speak to an audience when you would like us to).

And depression, is the result of the suppression of feelings and emotions, like anger or sadness. I myself was very good at this. As from my family and there experience what was shared with me is, all fine, keep going,. What this did for me was I allowed myself to ignore my emotions/feelings. The “upside” hard worker, no limits, mega responsible, push myself to perform, never satisfied which for company’s can be lucrative. And as I was very good at ignoring my feelings and what my body wanted to let me know, I lasted long and overperformed until it lead to depression and pre-burnout like symptoms.

Now in hind site, it’s amazing that I had not realized I was feeling less and less, not enjoying myself anymore. Used to make fun and joke a lot, that was all gone. Also experienced anxiety whilst driving or sitting next to someone else who is driving…. On my 50st birthday, remember it as yesterday, stood in the shower thinking to myself oh I made it this far… but felt alone (although I have a family).

One more thing to share is, the past let’s say 6-8 years almost all my (older family) has passed away: 2 grandpa’s, 3 grandma’s (for some reason had a spare one ;0) My mother who committed suicide when she was 68 (due to her life quality going down and down) and my father due to sugar disease and hospital bacteria. Besides that around me people who I spent time kayaking with, one ended his life, other one passed away due to disease all of a sudden… So all in all many people, did not take time to digest and kept on going. Besides that high workload, stress at home, Covid came so that is a pretty neat cocktail for getting burnout or depression or both… Now the funny thing is, I am a Life Coach and since my youth been interested in self development, what makes us tick, the meaning of life and so on. This did not in the end help me at the beginning, as I did not seek help, and could manage on my own off course.

This all combined, plus a bit of a perfectionistic nature made it all magical. So now, after colleague coaches monitored me, after I took rest (went to live in caravan for 5 month’s, reported in sick, focused on myself, eating, sleeping, watching birds and making fire, walking) got the tip, I see you know all or a lot of techniques, would be good if you would practice them… ha ha how simple life can be. So whilst slowly started to work again, did meditate, do some form of Yoga, listened to myself. Was not easy in the beginning the working (found it weird experience) as I got low profile project on which I could work alone mostly, quickly thought ah, need more. Went in meeting again for first time after 6 month’s and immediately lay awake in the night, as my mind tends to work on solutions and keeps thinking. Kept going slowly although had that bad experience, and it’s bit like fear of something imagine fear for water after falling badly then best is to get in again, so that was what was needed. But whilst feeling safe and being supported (which my responsible did and allowed me to).

So what I have learned share with you so it can help / assist you in recovery or in deciding you need to take a break:

-listen to yourself like you would listen to your best friends,
-care for yourself like you would for your best friends & family,
-talk about what bothers you with people who can listen carefully and provide useful feedback or who can
truly just listen,
-there is no failure only feedback,
-realize people who talk you down or treat you in a bad way let them be and move on,
-we are all (if lucky depending on your situation) slowly dying from live,
-you came with nothing, you will go with nothing, so what’s there to loose,
-see life as an empty canvas, and the amazing opportunity this gives to live your life and create your life,
-Love yourself, you are enough

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If you do not have the support or if you are in a place of deep darkness, unable to see the light reach out to people for help, there are online emergency numbers to call to get help and you could also reach out to us at contact@iamyourcoach.nl

Wish you a very good day no … very good life! Warm regards Misja

if you would like to share your feedback on the above article, or would like info on specific subjects let us know at contact@iamyourcoach.nl

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